


we were running in the dark (we were following our hearts)

by simplydevotedtoyou



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Mates?, Multi, Night Terrors, Past Sexual Abuse, Violence, Young Love, everyone is happy, maybe not, maybe? - Freeform, nearly 30 years after the war
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-28
Updated: 2019-01-10
Packaged: 2019-05-14 15:31:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14772317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/simplydevotedtoyou/pseuds/simplydevotedtoyou
Summary: It's nearly 30 years after the war and everyone is happy. Feyre and Rhysand's son Kleon is now 20 years old and is taking on more responsibility than ever. One of which includes going to the Illyrian camps more frequently to assist.—Adrianna is half high fae and half Illyrian that lives in one of the many Illyrian camps since her mother died after giving birth to her and her father didn't want her. Life has been very complicated for her over the past years and that only increases when a certain black haired male turns up and won't take his eyes off of her.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I have recently grown very found of reading fanfics that revolve around the inner circles children and what there life as become as well as the epic romance stories some people have produced:  
> A court of spring and stars by allie16_queen  
> A court of hearts and darkness by Sarah_bae_maas
> 
> Now I have decided to create my own version, hope you enjoy.
> 
> Title is from the song falling apart by Michael Schulte

_Adrianna_

Today was going to be an okay day, even though I was restless all night after waking up in the early hours after yet another nightmare. They were always the same and that’s why I hate sleeping. I am reminded of the ways they broke me inside. I will never show it now though. I have been able to prove I can brutally hold my own against them. That doesn't mean they have yielded away from me. In a sense it’s only made them yearn and lust more towards me. I ignore them or at least I try to because I can't let them see how they still haunt me everyday, even if it has nearly been two years. I guess I can never forget the pain they caused me.

I strap on my leathers and go to find Raphael so we can get something to eat and then train like we always do. I’ve known Raph since I was the age of four and he is my only friend. I remember sitting with all the other Illyrian younglings when some brat approached me and told me I was sitting in ‘his seat’. When I didn’t move he got angry and that’s when Raph approached (bearing in mind he is two years older than me) and decides that it would be amusing to cut in and make this other boy practically shit his pants. See at this point everyone knew already that Raph was stronger than most so no one tried to step up to him. After the brat left he sat down and from there on out we have been best friends. He's the only one I can count on to help me in this camp. Well him and an older woman called Kali. She’s helped me ever since my sorry excuse of a father left me here because he couldn't be bothered to care for me, she was especially helpful when I was dealing with... _them_.

After eating what can only be known as scraps of a meal, we go to the sparring ring. I am not allowed in the ring as much as the males as I’m not seen as an essential person to train. However since the age of fifteen Raph has been teaching me how to fight properly. I was the one to ask him for one-on-one training lessons after the first incident, he didn’t know why I wanted to train so vigorously in self defence until later. He has taught me all he knows and I have proved to him my strength in battle.

Today we are just going over some basics and the tricks the element of surprise can have. When we reach the ring I can see Jude and another high ranked Illyrian sparring and as we approach I see Judes attention shift to me for a second. My blood runs cold and it feels like ice is coursing through my veins. I will never get use to seeing his or Tharos’ faces. Ever. Raph sees me practically turn to stone at the moment he also realises who is in the ring. He moves in front of me to block my view and says “shall we go to the stream?” Whenever it gets to much and I can't stand to be anywhere near anyone else we go to the stream close to the camp so we can spar or talk in private. I nod and then he takes my hand and starts walking. Just as we are passing the ring Jude stops and moves to the edge of the ring. I see the movement out the corner of my eye and I suddenly squeeze Raph’s hand.

“Did my skills in the ring not impress you babe, I know how much you use to enjoy my other skills” Jude says with a condescending sneer on his face.

I can't breathe. My lungs are failing me. My throat is rapidly closing up. I can’t move.

Someone is talking, Raph maybe? I don’t know, I can't focus.

I’m being dragged away towards the stream. Each breath coming easier than the last as we put more distance between me and him. Raph sits me on a rock and come to kneel in front of me cupping my hands in his. I look up and see his eyebrows pinched together in concern.

“Hey tart, you okay?” I love it when he calls me that.

“I-I’m okay” my voice sounds too small, I don't like it. I don't sound like myself.

He moves to sit next to me and places an arm round my shoulder making me lean into his side.

“Why don't we just sit for a minute, yeah?”

I nod. He starts talking about something but I’m not really paying attention. He knows I don't particularly listen when I’m like this, I just like hearing his voice as it helps soothe me. After a couple of minutes my breathing is normal and I no longer feel panicked so I stand up and offer him my hand.

“Come on, I want to kick your arse at least twice before I have to go and help with the younglings.” I say with a smile from ear to ear.

“Yeah, as if that’s gunna happen” he says taking my hand.

I let go and raise it so it is over my heart and I gasp loudly to add to the dramatics before saying “I am offended you would doubt my like that my fellow bat.”

He stares and then throws his head back as he starts laughing uncontrollably.

 

_ Kleon  _

Me and Alexius are in my room mulling over what we are to do when we arrive at the Illyrian camp tomorrow. Neither us have been to this one before as is the farthest away from us and is stationed on the outskirts of one of the courts vast forests on top of a mountain. As we are talking, me being stood leaning against my chest of draws and Al sat on my bed, Tara pokes her head in and then runs in and throws herself onto my bed so she is sat perched against Al.

Tara and Al have been my two best friends since I was about 8 years old. Tara is a high fae and is one year younger than me where as Al is also half Illyrian and is one year older. We all met on the same day at my mothers Art studio when she was holding a class for all the young ones of Velaris. Out of the three of us though I am the only one who actually has any artistic traits in me, which I get from my mother. Since then we have continued to be by each others side through thick and thin and I wouldn't of asked it to be any different. As the years have gone by my family have just accepted them as part of our crazy dysfunctional family and they often come round for celebrations or when one of the inner circle decides to throw an unplanned family dinner.

“What are you two chattering on about? Were you talking about how you miss my gorgeous face when I’m not around?” Tara says with a cheeky smile.

I let out a small laugh as does Al and then I say “No we were actually talking about how we could finally get rid of you and your ugly looking face.”

As soon as the words have left my mouth she gasps and then reaches for a pillow which she then throws straight at my head. Lucky I catch it and throw it back at her. At this point Al has got himself a pillow to try and smother her with but she is having none of it as she shoots up from the bed and strolls to the door. Before she leaves she turns around to inform us that she has booked us a table at our favourite restaurant which we will need to be there within half an hour. In her words we need to look ‘presentable for once’ as she is taking us out as her treat the day before we both leave her for a month. It is longest we have been parted but we have promised we will keep in touch and will write to her everyday. Once she's left Al soon follows so he can go home and get changed and then I myself get changed into one of my black fitted suits.

 

_ Adrianna _

Today is the day the High Lord of the Night Court and his inner circle are coming to inspect the progress we have made with training and to see if there is any information to be shared. Ever since the leader of my camp - Logan - told us they where going to be coming a couple of weeks ago there have been whispers of the High Lords son - Kleon -coming as well with some saying he is going to be staying for a while. However no one has said for sure so it’s just a waiting game to see if he does actually turn up.

My job for this morning is to stay with the younglings, which I don't really mind as today Kali is bringing some paints in for them. For as long as I can remember I have always found clarity when painting, it’s my escape. I have always been drawn to paint pictures that look somewhat out of focus that show a city full of lights. The colours blend together across the page making it look like a swirl of bright lights amongst the dazzling night sky. However some days, the bad days, I can never bring myself to paint. Instead I go down to the stream with Raph. I am almost done cleaning up when the word spreads about the High lords arrival.As I finish cleaning and give Kali a hug goodbye as well as the promise of coming back later on, I walk outside and meet Raph in the middle of the camp. I find him staring at Logan who is currently introducing himself to the High Lords son. Those who have come include the High Lord, his Commander, his shadowsinger, Kleon and another Illyrian male. I can't help it as my eyes rake their way up and down Kleon’s body multiple times. No one could ever possibly say that this male right here wasn't good looking because they would be lying if they did.

I shake my head and turn my attention to Raph as he speaks with his mouth raised in a half smile “I’ve never actually seen Kleon before but I mean he definitely matches everyones description of him. Spot on actually.”

“What are you talking about you bat?” I say.

“Anna have you seen him? I don't even swing his way but...Wow... he is one handsome dude” he's definitely over exaggerating there. Maybe.

“He’s alright” I say quietly so he wouldn't hear me.

Raph then turns to me with his mouth wide open in utter disbelieve. “Are you kidding me! Seriously?”

He then turns back to face them and I follow his gaze. As I look back over to him I see his jet black hair that is smoothly pushed back but leaving a few strands to fall over to the left side of his face partially covering his chocolate brown eyes. You can still see the perfect outline of his ripped muscles under his leathers...okay I must admit Raph may be right. I can feel myself practically drooling but instead of voicing my thoughts I say in a very dismissive tone “whatever.”

Before we have a chance to say anything else Logan calls Raph over, presumably for him to go and talk about the training that occurs at our camp. As he walks away I call out to him and say “report back shitbag.” This causes him to turn around and face me, he smiles and gives me his nod and salute before he quickly changes is expression to his more ‘serious’ look. As I look past him I see Kleon’s gaze has landed on me not even bothering to watch as Raph steps to them and introduces himself. His eyes have not left mine. _Why is he still looking at me?_ I think. I slowly raise a brow in question. This seems to snap him out of whatever god forbidden trance he was in. I decided now might be the best time to leave but even as I turn away I can still feel his eyes on me for a second longer.

Strange.

 

_Kleon_

The journey to the camp wasn't as bad as I thought but it still took a lot of energy out of me. All I really wanted to do now was go to where me and Al would be staying so I could sit down for a while and rest my wings. Instead we had to introduce ourselves to the camp leader, well more like I did since I had never been here before. We met the camp leader as soon as we landed, he then gave us the run down on any new information he had gathered since my father had last seen him. After that he called over one of the High ranked Illyrians that train in the camp, his name is Raphael. As I followed where Logan voice was directed I saw Raphael and next to him a the most captivating young woman I had ever had the pleasure of laying my eyes on. Her golden brown hair was braided into to separate plaits that lay on her shoulders, her eyes contained hues of striking blue and mossy green and her skin...it just looked so soft. Upon looking at her skin I felt the urge to run my hands over the plains of her cheeks and then tangle them in her hair.

 _What is wrong with me?_ I thought. _I don't even know the girl_. Unfortunately for me she caught my heavy stare. As she looked back at me I wish I could understand what she was thinking but then she raised a brow as in question to say _Can I help you?_ Even then I couldn't look away. It wasn't until she had started walking off that I finally turned my attention back to the men in front of me.

Strange.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is set basically straight after where the last one finished, I kept adding things to this chapter so it has ended up being twice as long as the last chapter :).
> 
> tw- anxiety attack? PTSD, flash backs, minor mention of rape (under age) and I say minor as it doesn't go into detail. 
> 
> if there's anything else you think I should ask please let me know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> honestly I was too excited to post this as well as being so tired that I have not proof read all of it. but do not fear I will do when I get a chance.
> 
> next weeks upload maybe a bit late as I'm probably not going to have enough time to do a chapter.

_Adrianna_

After walking away from Raph and the rest of them I went back to see Kali as I had promised I would make sure to see her. She always made sure she knew how I was doing, day in and day out. She knew when I was having an off day and when I was she always made sure she was around to keep an eye on me. I may have protested when she first started doing it but now I could never thank her enough for being a watchful eye over me. Truth is I probably wouldn't of been able to stand on my own two feet without her and Raph by my side after everything.

We lost track of time talking so I ended getting back to my tent fairly late. It didn’t bother me as much as I never minded talking to Kali, even if it was for hours on end but also because I rarely got much sleep on a good night. Tonight though...tonight was different. I wasn't plagued by my normal nightmares that ransacked my dreams routinely, instead I couldn't stop thinking of the black haired brown-eyed boy that had stood across from me, who had seemed to have trouble taking his eyes off of me. Of all the people to stare at I definitely shouldn't be one, no one has ever looked at me with such...such awe in their eyes. I have only ever received hungry, lustful stares from most around me in the camp or those of dismissal as if I was nothing but muck on the bottom of their shoes. Having the High Lords son look at me like that made me feel bare and vulnerable as if I had been stripped of all my defensive walls. I couldn't let that happen. I had dedicated every fibre within me to build wall after wall to separate me from everyone apart from Raph and Kali. That was definitely not going to change just because a snobby heir. Definitely not.

The next day I met Raph at the training courses, these I was permitted to take part in. It was mostly because the majority of the Illyrian males wanted to see me fail but after training for so long as if my life depended it, which it more or less did, I wasn't going to give them the satisfaction. I completed multiple training courses without fault whilst having Raph by my side the whole time shouting his support but also barking improvements on how to quicken my movements when dodging obstacles. When stepping off of the last course I saw the anger filled scowls that were sent my way and watched as some whispered amongst themselves but I didn’t care because I had finally proven to them that I could hold my own ground. That I would be able to defend myself against them if any of them tried to take me down ever again and I would keep reminding them of that fact until my very last breath. After failing these courses time and time again today was finally the day I came out on the other end with my head held high in pure satisfaction.

Raph ran up to me and engulfed me in such a fierce hug that he completely lifted me off the ground, I rapped my arms around his neck and proceeded to hide my growing smile against his neck.

“Holy shit, you did it you little tart. I knew you could.” The immense presence of pride in his tone only made my smile grow more.

I moved my head so I was looking him in the eyes as he placed me back on the floor. My breathing was heavy as I was regaining my breath but I managed to spit out “finally...showed them...fuckers.” He pulled me into another crushing hug and laughed. I wanted to stay like this forever, in this bubble of pure happiness but I knew we couldn't so I pushed off him and said “update me bat, what’s the goss.” As we turned I saw Kleon standing watching me and Raph with a confused look but when we locked eyes for the second time he gave me a tiny one sided smile which made my heart to stutter. What. The. Fuck.

When we started walking down to the stream Raph replied “well Kleon and his friend Alexius are staying in the camp for a month as they want to ‘help out’ with training and whatever else they said they were coming for,” I couldn't help myself as I sighed. Why did they have to stay for so long? “also Azriel and Cassian will be visiting every so often but the High lord won't return until a couple of days before his son is meant to leave.”

“Right so does that mean me and you won't have one-on-one training as often?” If they were here to focus mainly on the training in the camp then Raph would most likely be with them as he's one of the high ranked Illyrian warriors.

“No, of course not. But it does mean that I will be training with them also, so it’s your choice whether you join in as well.” He said as we sat on our usual rock that lay next to the thin running stream.

“I’ll probably join after a while but don't blame me for getting jealous when you run off with your new bff’s.” I huff whilst turning my face away from him.

“Oh shut up, as if. I could never leave my little tart.” He says whilst shoving my shoulder but then quickly pulled me into him for a side hug. Raph ruffled my hair and declared how proud he was of me today.

When it was a good day, I won. Not them.  
The good days were now becoming more frequent.

_Kleon_

Waking up the next day was hard as I didn’t get much sleep and it wasn't just because me and Al got to our tents late but it was mainly to do with the fact that I couldn’t stop thinking of her. Standing across from her not knowing her name and yet I found myself desperately wanting to caress the skin upon her cheeks. My thoughts of her were so wrapped amongst themselves that the time seemed to fly by, so now I’m half asleep which isn't ideal for what my day consists of today.

After putting on my leathers I went to find Al so we could say goodbye to my father, Azriel and Cassian and then go get some sort of food. My father told us that he wouldn't be coming back until the very last week our visit as he said he had lots of meetings with the other High Lords and then business he needed to attend to in Hewn City. For now it would be me and Al working in and around the camp with Cassian and Azriel coming every couple of days. Today mine and Al’s job was to observe and join in with the training and to see to the courses that are set up to challenge the Illyrians ability. The former job was draining as this camp seemed much more strict and vigorous with the training and sparring techniques used. However what was disappointing was the minimal number of women and girls that were training which I needed to tell Cass and Azriel so we could change it as we have done with all the other camps we have been to already.

When it came to going over to the training courses there were groups of men scatter all around them with pure disgust and loathing etched across each of their faces. As we approached one I could see Raphael shouting at someone on the course and it just happened to be who everyone was looking at. When they came to the end of one of the courses I realised it was her, she was the one everyone was looking at, she was the one who had just completed a course and cauldron knows how many before perfectly. I watched as she practically sprinted to Raph and jumped into his arms whilst trying to hide her proud growing smile in the crook of his neck. I couldn't help but feel jealous as I saw them laugh and embrace each other in the hugs they shared. I was however confused as to why I was feeling this twinge of anger when seeing them together in such a way. Why is that I feel angry and jealous over someone I hadn't even properly met before?

I escaped my thoughts when I saw them walking off together but as they passed us our eyes seemed to land on each other once again and I couldn't help the smile that formed as i looked at her. These urges started to rise again but this time all I wanted was to see her smile at me. I kept my eyes on hers until she turned her head and started talking to Raphael again, this was when Al turned to me and asked “did you enjoy your staring contest?”

I was at a loss for words so all I managed to say “what?’ in a choked voice.

Al looked at me and huffed a laugh before saying “I literally just watch both of you stare each other out, don't act like you don't know what I’m talking about.”

“We didn't ‘stare each other out’ she just caught my line of gaze.” I said in the most confident tone I could.

“Oh what you just happened to smile in her direction...” I tried to interject but he said “don't bother, I saw the sly smile you threw her way.” By the end of his sentence he was laughing slightly so I pushed him but that only seemed to make him laugh more as he saw the colour change in my cheeks. Now I’m embarrassed. _What is going on?_

_Adrianna_

The next couple of days I didn’t see Raph a lot as he was with Kleon and his friend so I ended up spending more time with Kali and the younglings which didn’t bother me at all as I got to paint a lot and spend time helping the younglings also. The only times I did see Raph was in the morning when we ate and later on in the afternoon when we trained together. After the fourth day of him being mostly with them he asked if I wanted to join them and I couldn't see why not so I agreed.

The next day Raph came to get me as I was tying my hair back and then we made our way towards the sparring ring to meet Kleon and Alexius. For some reason I found my self getting more anxious the closer we got to the sparring ring but as soon as I saw them stood together it’s as if the nerves I had flooded out my system and I was fine. When we got closer Kleon noticed and began to turn to face us whilst finishing his conversation with Alexius.

“Hey Raphael and...” Kleon said with a smile before looking and me and asking “sorry we haven't actually met yet, what’s your name?”

“Adrianna.”

His smile seem to dim at my dismissive tone but the truth is I didn’t owe him anything so right now my mental shields (as well as the ones I have personally created) were as strong as ever. Now standing before him I kicked myself at the fact that I was nervous to meet him, he doesn't mean anything to me and I couldn't find myself caring about what he thought of me.

He then says “I’m Kleon but you probably already knew that and this is my friend Alexius”

Alexius extends his hand so I take it and shake it whilst exchanging hello’s and then I turn back to Kleon and mutter “Do you just presume everyone knows who you are? Does it help feed your ego?” At my comment his face turns ashy whilst Alexius laughs but tries to cover it with a cough and Raph nudges me with his elbow. When he doesn't reply we fall into a slight moment of silence which doesn't last long as Raph announces “We need to start so any ideas of what you want to go through first?”

Kleon finally speaks up and says “I was thinking we should perhaps do some training with knives again and then maybe go through some of the more difficult courses. Is that okay with you?”

Raph voices his agreement and then says “I normally train with Anna but maybe we should switch it up?” He then turns to me and says “is that okay with you?”

“I’m not bothered.” I was really but I just didn’t want to say it. I’ve never trained with anyone other than Raph, as long as I don't have to train with Kleon I think I'll be okay.

“Right well I'll go with Alexius and you and Kleon can train together” as soon as Raph said it Kleon looked at me and gave me the most sarcastic smile. If thats how he wanted to go about it then I would make sure that I showed just what I was capable of.

_Kleon_

I knew there was no way I was going to hold back when training with Adrianna and I could tell by the flicker of anger that took over her face that she wasn't going to either. neither of us were able to get our knives any where near each others leathers as she would swipe my arm away just as fast as I had lunged it towards her. Then I would block her with my forearm when she tried to get me side on. After multiple attempts she finally grabbed my wrist when I attempted to slash at her and then proceeded to twist my arm so it came behind my back before kicking the back of my knee so hard that it caused me so fall down onto my knees. At this point I had dropped my knife so she swiftly kicked out of reach and then brought her own knife to rest on my jugular.

She leaned down to whisper in my ear “better luck next time.” I could practically feel the smile that was proudly placed on her face against my ear. Adrianna then dropped my wrist, walked round me and went to Raphael and Al whom both seemed to have stopped training and were looking straight towards the both of us. As she approached them I saw her exchange high fives with them both before Al came over. He offered me his hand whilst saying “how’s it feel to get knocked down a peg my dear friend.” I shoved his hand away and stood up on my own before saying “just you wait, she won't be celebrating after the courses thats for sure.”

Alexius just scoffed a laughed and said “whatever you big baby.”

I sure to hell wasn't about to let her upstage me when it came to the training courses as I had so far mastered all the ones I had faced. She wasn't about to change that.

_Adrianna_

I couldn't help the smile that kept creeping onto my face when I thought about how I had taken his cocky arse down, it surely shut him up and hopefully made a little dent on his big precious ego. I wasn't too thrilled about doing the courses even though I had completed most of them successfully just a couple of days ago. The ones we were doing today I had yet to complete them all and I could tell Raph noticed my worried expression as we approached the more harder training courses. Kleon nominated himself to go first to probably get a one up on me but I didn’t let it faze me. I watched as he completed the first training course almost flawlessly, only stuttering once or twice when it came to ducking obstacles. A he came to stand back with us he had the biggest shit eating grin I had ever seen. It made my blood boil. I pushed past him and made my way to the start of the course. I was going to show him and everyone else how capable I was and then laugh in his face with my shit eating grin.

As I stood trying to smooth over my anger I saw in the corner of my eye that Jude and Thanos were stood with some other Illyrian warriors who were all staring at her. Waiting. Waiting to watch her fail. It didn’t help my nerves and definitely increased my anger levels. I clenched and unclenched my hands until my head was some what clear and then I began the course. I wish I never did. It didn’t end well.

I was able to propel myself, using my wings, off the ground to avoid the low lying obstacles but I was to slow on my descents to avoid those above. Half way through the course I was thrown to the ground as something came crashing into my back. I didn't register the pain. I simply got up and got off the course. I could see them all laughing at me, even Kleon but why wouldn't he be he just proved that he had more ability and experience over me which made him feel better for showing him up earlier. What he didn’t realise was the other warriors laughing at me but Raph did. The urgency in his eyes was alarming on the other hand I knew he wanted to get me away from them, as did I. When Kleon made a move towards me to most likely say a self absorbed comment Raph pushed in front of him causing Kleon to collide with Raph’s back.

Raph wrapped his arm around my shoulder so I could lean into his body as he tried to drag me away from everyone.

We didn’t even get passed Jude and Thanos as one of them launched themselves at me grabbing my wrist so tight that I knew it would leave bruises. I didn’t want to look at their face. Well is more like I couldn't even if I tried. As soon as skin met skin I froze in place and all of a sudden I couldn't breathe. I felt Raph let go of me to push whoever was holding me away but he was pulled back by two other Illyrians. My only source of protection was unable to help.

My throat was closing in on it self whilst my lungs were trying grasp as much oxygen as possible. The world around me seemed to stop as I felt his breath on my neck. It was too familiar.

_I'm on my own. There is no one around to help me. No one will be able to hear my screams as the cloth that has been shoved in my mouth is stopping them from escaping my lips. Stopping my screams from alerting someone, anyone that I am not okay. That the two men stood in front of me, half naked, aren't being friendly. I have just turned 15. They say its ‘tradition’ for girls to do this when they turn 15. No one told me this. No one warned me of what was to come._

_They are too close to me. Touching me when I had already said no. I didn’t want or ask for this. I close my eyes. I can no longer watch. I can’t tell whose hands belong to who._

_One of them come to whisper in my ear, breath heavy and chillingly warm against my skin, “you will never be able to say no. We take as we please. You will obey”_

_After being beaten black and blue until I complied I saw it fit not to disobey. I did what I was told. I tried not to cry but I couldn't stop the silent sobs that crawled up my throat or the tears that fell from my eyes. They didn’t like it. They said I was making too much noise. From this I have learnt to not make a noise. I must be quite. I must not tell_.

He said those three words again “you will obey.”

Like a trained animal I bowed my head, as I did I heard him laugh. They won.

_Kleon_

I couldn't understand why Raphael had grabbed Adrianna and pushed us out of the way. I looked at Al who also had the same questioning look as me. I watched as Al’s gaze fell over my shoulder and then he let out a rage filled “What. The. Fuck.”

Upon hearing those words I whipped my head around to follow his gaze to the scene behind me.

Raphael being held back by two Illyrian warriors.

Three others stood aside with emotionless expression.

One holding Arianna’s wrist.

“What. The. Fuck.” I repeated.

I saw red. There was an outburst of pure fury that ran wild through every bone in my body. Something within me was shouting to _protect, protect, protect_ , over and over again. I had never felt such an urge to do something so much as of right now. All I wanted to do was grab the Illyrians head and feel it crack between my bare hands, enjoying as his blood would trickle down my fingers.

As I go to move towards them I see Adrianna fall onto her knees. All the warriors around her are laughing apart from Raphael. I can hear him shouting at both the one who holds Adrianna and Adrianna herself. He’s trying to get her out of whatever trance she has fallen into.

_Protect, protect, protect._

_Help her, save her, hold her_.

I’m practically stomping my way over to them with Al right on my heels. As I come to stand no more than an arms length away from this sorry excuse of a man he turns his face to look at me dead in the eye with a sickly smirk on his face.

“Well, well. If it isn't the High Lords son. Come to have a turn?” Hearing his scratchy voice makes me want to wrip him limb from limb.

But what did he say, ‘a turn’ what was that supposed to mean? I ignore his words for now and focus soulfully on getting this man off of Adrianna.

“I suggest you take your hands away from her and leave.” I say through clenched teeth.

He looks surprised at my words but then he mutters “greedy boy you are. Suit yourself.” He bends down and whispers something in her ear and I watch as she doesn't even move a muscle. The man then turns to the other warriors “let be going men.” He declares. They let go of Raphael who then stumbles towards Adrianna grabbing her hands in his and begins to talk softly to her. The growl that comes from me doesn’t have an explanation behind it. It was more of an instinct.

_Help her, save her, hold her._

_Hold her._

Him and Al watch as Adrianna’s shoulders slum forward and thuds her forehead against Raphael shoulder. He he still talking to her in a smooth voice but I can’t tell what he is saying but he soon looks up at the both of us and says “leave us.” When we make no signs of moving he grows agitated and snaps “NOW!”

We both try to move as quick as possible. As we are walking I look back and see them still knelt on the floor with Raphael brushing his fingers through her hair. I turn to face Al who was already looking at me.

“Something definitely isn’t right” he says quietly making sure no one hears him.

I hum my agreement as we continue are way over to our tents.

_Adrianna_

Today was not a good day. Today they won. They will continue to remind me of how I must obey.

_Stay silent. Don't let them hear you cry._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What'd you think? 
> 
> please leave kudos and a comment on what your thoughts are on this chapter. :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a couple days after the events of where the last chapter ended.
> 
> Adrianna is working through her emotions. Slowly. Raphael is always there for her.
> 
> Kleon still has no idea why he's got all these feelings?? towards Adrianna and they don't stop coming :)
> 
> They both learn things about each other and now they both don't know how to feel.
> 
> TW- multiple panic attacks, Adrianna's past is brought up multiple times (Jude and Thanos), there is a scene that applies sexual assault but it is not graphic. if there is anything else you think I should put in please let me know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did say this chapter wasn't gunna be on time but I didn't expect it to be three weeks? late but I had exams for two weeks straight which wasn't fun at all, they are now over and I have about three months until I start college so expect weekly updates every Sunday as I have no plans basically!!! 
> 
> anyway hope you like this chapter, I literally could of kept writing but I thought it needed to end somewhere and honestly I didn't mean for it to end the way it did soooo... good luck :)

_Adrianna_

I hadn't seen much of anyone after my encounter with them. I was either sat arms wrapped around my bent legs in my tent or by the stream with Raph.

Raph knew I wouldn't be cable of doing anything with the days that followed from previous times. He has seen it happen an unmentionable amount of times. He knew that my inner demons came bubbling to the surface after they got too close to me, he knew my nights got longer as I couldn't bring my self to sleep, he knew not to touch. At least someone did. I was grateful for him just being a friendly presence by my side that grounded me.

I was now going onto the third day of nothingness but today I thought today I will hold my head up high.

It took me longer to get up as my skin still felt like it was on fire and any slight touch of fabric rubbed tremendously but the flames were dimming. I slowly strapped on my leathers very loosely and then set out to find Raphael so we could get something to eat, guarantee he would have already eaten but I knew he would come with me as I didn’t want to eat alone or be alone at all.

When I finally found Raph he was with Alexius and Kleon-no surprise there. As I approached they all abruptly stopped talking and turned to face me. Too many eyes on me. My throat felt like cotton and the words I had built myself up to saying we're suddenly trapped, held hostage by my fear. I was just stood there, unmoving. Kleon and Alexius’ expressions were filled with concern but Kleon almost seemed hurt. What was that about?

“Hey, you wanna get something to eat?” Raph said softly whilst his arm hovered over my left shoulder in question.

I could only simply nod to both. His hand delicately found my shoulder as he guided me away. I could barely walk on my own, everything around me was crumbling. How did I think I was strong enough to act normal? I was never strong and never will be.

My vision was blurry, the only way I knew I was safe was the hand that rested on me but even that was betraying me...

**Hands.On.Me**

**I.Don’t.Want.Them.there.**

**I.Must.Stay.Quiet.**

**I.Must.Obey.**

I can’t remember closing my eyes but when I open them again I am sat down and Raph is knelt in front of me with a small wary smile on his face. He has been waiting for me to escape my thoughts, waiting to reassure me that everything is okay, I’m here I won’t let them near you. He never fails in making me feel at ease or making me feel warm and at home in his arms. I will be forever grateful for him.

I guess I will have to wait another day until I can walk with my head held high all day.

 

_Kleon_

My thoughts were on a constant loop, nagging at me ever since I saw Adrianna’s knees hit the ground.

The Illyrian man’s words were engraved in my mind but I didn’t know their meaning.

_Come to have a turn?_

The questions built up on top each other...

Who was he? How did he know Adrianna? What did he say to her? Why was he grabbing her like that? What did he mean?

Thats all I was able to think about. When I saw her again all my inner thoughts seemed to drain away. She was worryingly pale. The bags under her eyes were a clear indication that she hadn’t got a second of sleep and the way she carried herself whilst approaching us showed how fragile she was, with her feather like steps you would have thought she was afraid of shattering if she walked any different. ~~_Maybe she was._~~

As she stood across from us unable to move, let alone talk, my inner instinct was screaming at me, clawing up my spine telling _- ** ~~demanding~~** -_ me to hold her. Protect her. Make her feel valid.

My ears were burning as a high pitched sound blanketed itself over my hearing, my whole body itched to engulf her and hold her as close as possible to my chest just to feel her heart beat strum against mine. I didn’t hear what Raphael said but the next thing I know was she was walking away and I was stood rigged staring at the space where she stood whilst battling the voices in my head that were telling me to run after her, to not let her get too far.

Why was I feeling this overbearing need to console her?

I was too lost in my train of thought that I didn’t register Al stood in front of me until he started waving his hand in my face. That when the high pitched screech stopped and Al voice came floating in instead.

“What were you dreaming about? You spaced out completely.” His voice made me think he had been laughing with how upbeat it was.

“I-ugh don't know...” I rubbed my face with my palms “I always feel so-so weird whenever she's near me.”

“Does little Kleon have crushhhh?” He replied jokingly.

“No, you moron. I mean I have this urge to just surround her and protect her. Ugh-I don't know, it's really strange. I’ve only just met her”

I saw Al’s face expression change slightly at my words but I didn’t get a chance to answer as I saw Cass and Azriel land just ahead of us.

One question stood clear in my mind: do they know the men who taunted Adrianna? I carried the question with me as we made our way towards them.

 

_Adrianna_

I spent the following day watching Raph boss around some of the other warriors whilst Cassian and Azriel watched and judged his leadership skills. This was the second time they had come since leaving Kleon and Alexius here, the first time had been when I was hiding in my tent from the world but Raph had filled me in on the wonders of his day with them.

I made it my life’s mission to stay as far away as possible from them whenever the came because their dominating power made me feel rather nauseous and the dark tendrils of shadows radiating off Azriel put all my senses on high alert.

My plan didn’t work as we ended up all sat together whilst eating that evening. I don't know how I ended up sat next to Azriel either but every now and again his elbow scrapped my arm and I would instantaneously seize up, not being able to move for a minute or two. I think after a while he noticed as he moved himself slightly away from me. I guess my initial instincts were wrong about them because as the night went on I saw how kind and warm hearted they are and the way they joked with Alexius and Kleon.

It was getting later on into the night as we and many other Illyrian’s gathered around a big fire in the middle of the camp, these only happened when one of the warriors had been upgraded from their post, it was a night where nearly everyone-well every male-got shit face drunk and basically howled at the moon all night long until the sun came up. The times I spent with Kali around the fire were the best as we would sit with some of the younglings and tell bed time stories until most of them were asleep. That stopped when I turned 15, from then I was always this them and their many friends, those times I wish to forget. But since Raph and Kali stepped in I now spend every one of these so called “celebrations” clinging to Raph’s side.

I watched as Cassian and Azriel practically forced alcohol down Kleon’s throat whilst giggling like children and Alexius stood snickering into the back of his hand. I had my head resting on Raph’s shoulder with our hands intertwined whilst we sat in comfortable silence. Neither of us minded as we always found clarity in these moments whether it was us sat like we are now or if we are limbs are intertwined to in bed after either of us have had a rough nights sleep, we were each others home, each others safe haven.

 

_ Kleon _

I was slightly-heavily-buzzed and its all Cass and Azriel’s fault, they would have never done this if my father was here, I guess it's a good thing he wasn't, I was actually enjoying myself. Though everything was a blur of orange flames and dark blue sky, I managed to stand on my feet for a rather long time whilst we chanted to the sky and then the sky also turned a hue of orange. This was then when Al decided it was time we went back to our tent so he got my arm and draped it over his shoulders to aid me whilst we walked. As we walked I was stumbling over my words trying to tell Al how much I love him, when did I think it was a good idea to drink this much? I heard him scoff and then pat my arm before saying “ahhh, I can’t wait for the morning my dear friend.” Before I was able to reply he slumped me down onto my bed and I didn’t think I could have been more happier to sleep on a rock hard bed than right now. As soon as my head hit the pillow I was out cold.

  
_I’ve had what some people may call visions over the past 2 years, it started off with glimpses of little spurt images of the sunrise or a hand turning a page in a colourful book but recently the visions have gotten longer to the point where I’ve been able to see blurry figures fighting in the distant._

_I’ve also had these dreams that don't feel like my own but these have gone on longer than the visions. Whenever I have these dreams I cannot interact with anything or anyone, I am just a spectator essentially. The dreams have ranged from two figures sat intertwined with each other by flowing water to a girl being hassled by multiple men. I don't like those dreams because I cannot help no matter how much I scream and beg for them to leave this girl alone my voice is mute to them and my feet are glued to the floor, these dreams I cannot bare to spectate so I throw myself from sleep and wake covered in sweat that glistens all over my skin. Some of these dreams have left me curled around the toilet spewing the contents of my stomach into it because they feel so real._

_Tonight I dream one of those dreadful dreams. This time I can see more clearly the outline of the girl that invades my dreams regularly. She is around a head smaller than me or maybe that’s because she slumped against a tree I’m not sure but she is barely clothed, the night gown she wears is in shreds and is dangerously close to falling off her. Her light golden brown hair is drenched in sweat making it stick to her scalp and the sides of her face, from where I’m stood I can see how beads of sweat trail down the side of her face. She is squirming away from the touch of a much bigger person-I can recognise him as one of the men who are always with her in these dreams but now I can see him more clearly and he looks alarmingly familiar. Before I can think of where I know him from a piercing yelp comes barrelling out of the girls mouth and the breath in my lungs is suddenly knocked out of me. However it seems like this cry for help didn’t phase the man stood over the girl, it only seems to encourage as his hands begin to roam...roam places that need the green light but the girl hasn’t gave him that passage. I cannot move, I cannot help, I am useless._

_There’s no other sound that falls from her lips after I hear the man say “what have I said about making noise?” In the deepest voice I have ever hear it made my skin crawl and made bile rise into my throat where it stays so it can slowly choke me. I close my eyes. I cannot bare to look. But then I hear a small sob which causes me to open my eyes. When I do I find that the man is no longer there, all that is left is a broken girl curled into herself on the forest floor. I try and somehow succeed in stepping forward ever so slightly, I continue moving forward until I am stood in front of her. I cannot see her face as she has shielded it in the crooks of her arms so I kneel down to see if she will look up but she doesn't. It is like she doesn't know I’m here knelt a breath away from her. I clear my throat in hopes of getting her attention and it works. The girl slowly begins to lift her face. When her head is level with mine she opens her eyes and I see those eyes I’m sure I’m going to be sick all over this girl because I have seen these eyes before but this girls face doesn't match the one I have seen as the face staring back at me is younger, softer_.

I don't get a chance to speak to her as I am yanked from the dream and end up sat bolt straight in my bed.

I jump out of bed and sprint out of the tent just in time as I vomit bile, that has been choking me, all over the grass. As I stand straight I feel myself trembling from the aftermath of another horrid dream and slowly begin taking deep breaths to try and calm my nerves. Not even a minute after being sick I see a figure walking into the forest and something within me is pulling me towards the figure telling me to follow. So I do. I follow the person from a distance and watch as they lead me down to a stream of water. I’m sure I’ve been here before, but when? I watch as the person sits on a rock and brings their legs to their chest. I wait a moment longer before I approach. As I do their scent burns my nose, the strong scent of a fine summers day-the freshly cut grass, the tange of roses and jasmine mingled together, it almost knocks me off my feet. This scent that is rolling off this person makes me feel fuzzy and warm as if I was standing close to a fire but wasn't getting burnt. When I come to stand across from them my heart is thumbing rapidly in my chest so loudly it’s ringing in my ears.

I soon realise it is a girl that sits before me. When she realises I am stood in front of her she slowly raises her gaze to mine and when she finally looks me in my eyes I feel like she's burnt a hole into my soul at the same time as opening the lock I didn’t know was there around my entire being. I see the eyes that I saw not long ago in my dreams. Every vision, every dream abruptly become clear all at once and it is overwhelming.

The hands I have seen turn pages in what seem to be children’s books as well as paint elegantly are now just a touch away. The figures I have seen fighting in a blur now become men I have seen around this camp, the people sat at what seem to be this very stream become very clear and I can see that they are Adrianna and Raphael. The men I saw in the dream I can now identify as the men that were crowded around Adrianna the other day, this revelation makes me want to be sick again but I bite my tongue as a distraction.

I take in her face, her eyes are red and puffy, she has tears running down her face and her eyebrows are raised slightly as to pose the question surrounding my presence here right now. My heart bleeds seeing her in pain.

That’s when I feel something snap within me. It takes a millisecond to put my finger on what it was.

I am currently stood in front of-currently looking into the eyes of my mate. 

The mating bond is what I felt snap.

She is my mate.

Adrianna is my mate. The one the cauldron has chosen to pair me with.

This isn't right. I shouldn't be here. I can’t be here mate. She will never want me. This will never work. She has gone through too much, she would never accept me, she couldn't possibly want a mate after...after everything she's been through.

She is my mate. All I want to do is hold her. The voices I had before become deafening.

_Hold her, she is your mate._

_Make her feel better, she is your mate._

_Wipe your mates tears. She needs you._

**~~_Needs._ ~~ **

 

_ Adrianna _

I yank the blanket off my burning body and bring myself to sit on the edge of my bed. I can barley catch my breath as I go over the events of my dream.

Jude towering over me. My back against a tree. I scream. Jude gets mad. I must be quite. I hold back the sobs.

Hands-

-hands _everywhere_. I close my eyes.

He’s gone. I crumble to the floor. My head tucked into my arms, shielding me from the world around me.

Someone coughs? Someone is here. I prepare. I am anxious. It will be over soon I think. _~~I hope.~~_

I look up... it isn't one of them. It is kleon.

Kleon is in my dream. He seems so real. Why?

I wake myself up. There are tears streaming down my face.

Why was he in my dream? Why did it feel as though he was really there? As if I could touch him and feel his warm that was radiating off of him?

I shake my head trying to persuade myself not to cry but it doesn't work, the tears flow like an infinite river. Finding no luck in stopping the tears I decide to wrap myself up in some heavier clothes before stepping outside my tent and going down to the stream to clear my head. I keep asking myself why. Why this? Why that? Just...why? When I sit on the rock I hug my legs in hopes of finding extra warmth. I found that warmth but it wasn’t from my own doing. I feel his warmth and it encloses me within it. I look up and see him staring straight at me in awe. But then his gaze travels across my face and I feel exposed.

Kleon looks back into my eyes and I see his expression change in a split second. And then again. Its like he's overwhelmed with too many emotions that he doesn't know how he feels.

I sniffle the snot that threatens to escape my nose and say “What do you want.” My voice is rather sharp considering I’ve been crying none stop for the past 5 minutes.

I watch as he struggles to find his voice “I-I ugh saw someone walking down here and um thought I’d check what they were doing. I can go If-if you want. I’m um sorry. I shouldn't have followed you.” His gaze drops to the ground not wanting to look at me anymore. The way his voice was so shallow made me regret how cold I had spoken to him. So instead I tell him it’s okay, that he can sit if he wants. And he does. We sit in silence for a while until he speaks again.

“Why were you crying?” He turns to face me.

“Bad dream.” I watch him carefully and see how his face darkens as what I said. “Why are you up now?” I would've thought he'd still be asleep after the night- and early hours of the morning-he had. Yet here he sits, next to me.

“Bad dream.”

I try to not to betray how worried I am about what he said. He couldn't have had the same dream as me, right?

“Strangely enough, you were in it.” He says it as if it is a joke, waiting for the punch line that will never come.

My blood runs cold.

No, it wasn't the same dream. He can’t have had the same dream as me. Its just a coincidence that we both had dreams with one another in them. He can’t of seen what my dream -memory- consisted of. I am slowly shrinking in on myself, the ground beneath me is threatening me that at any given moment it won't hesitate to swallow me whole.

Kleon is now bent down in front of me so he's at eye level with me. He’s talking but it just sounds muffled to me so I try and read his lips.

_Breathe. Adrianna you............breathe._

I start taking deep breaths. In through my nose. Out through my mouth. Eventually I calm myself down, I am still panicking on the inside.

“You okay?”

I lie and nod.

“What happened.”

I wait a couple of minutes before replying.

“What you said. About me being in your dream.” My voice is too quite, it makes the hairs on my arms stand.

“What about it?”

“You were in mine.” I whisper.

“So, did we have the same dream?” He asks.

I take a deep breath and say “Where were you in your dream?”

I’m hoping. I'm begging the cauldron that he didn’t have the same dream. All hope his shattered in his response.

“The forest.”

Im suddenly on my feet and stumbling to run to the nearest tree where I then dry heave over and over until I feel a hand on my back.

I almost scream but then I remember-

-It is Kleon. The hand belongs to Kleon. ~~_It still **doesn't belong** there._~~

I jump away from his touch and say through clenched teeth “Do. Not. Touch. Me. Again.”

With that I turn and walk away. By the time I get back to my tent my vision is blurred from the tears building in my eyes.

This can’t be happening.

 

_Kleon_

This can’t be happening.

Adrianna is my mate. I have been inside her dreams multiple times. In the back of my mind I’ve always known who she was but was unable to see that until tonight.

Now I’m stood here, in the woods, trying to process everything.

_Mate. Visions. Dreams._

I don't end up going back to sleep, I go back and sit on the rock we were sat on until I hear people moving in the camp.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't intend to get so attached to the thought of Adrianna and Raphael. Someone, anyone please help me before I dig myself a bigger hole, I cannot help myself!!!!
> 
> now that I got that off my chest, what did y'all think of this chapter? let me know in the comments or send me a message on my Tumblr- problematicbabee.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adrianna is struggling with the aftermaths of the dream.
> 
> Kleon discovers something rather strange...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 6 months later...
> 
> I honestly can't believe its been this long. I'm sorry it has taken me this long to carry on with this fanfic but I was struggling so so so hard to carry on writing 1) because I had no motivation 2) I had no idea and still don't 100% know where this story is going but I do know that I love these characters and have desperately wanted to carry on their story. so we will take it a chapter at a time. thank you everyone for reading and waiting.

_ Kleon _

It was halfway through the third week of me and Al being at this camp when Cass and Azriel came back but this time around I had no plans on spending much time with them. In fact I haven't been in the company of anyone for long since that night, which was 4 days ago, so when they did arrive I went along with Al to greet them but then I decided to go over to the ring to find someone to fight.

 

I hadn't seen her since that night by the stream. The revelation that became of that night hung heavy on my shoulders and made me feel like I was drowning in open water. So many scenario’s ran across my mind of how it would play out if I was to tell Adrianna what I had learned about us. Mates. We are Mates. Meant to be. Paired by those above.

 

Within these four days the urge to find her and ensure her wellbeing had only increased day by day to the point where I found my self walking to her tent in the middle of the night without any recollection of getting out of my own tent to begin with. It was slowly driving me insane, like a ticking time bomb waiting to go off.

 

Could I keep it from her forever? Would she hate me if I did or would she hate me more if I told her?

 

 

_Adrianna_

 

I have not been able to stop thinking about the dream I shared with Kleon. How is it possible that two people can share the same dream?

 

This singular question has been at the front of my mind, haunting me, for the last week with the dream constantly replaying in my head like a broken CD. Over and over and over...

 

I can't bare to see his face again, even just thinking about him makes me feel as though the ground beneath me is crumbling

 

crumbling.

 

Soon there will be no more ground left for me to stand on.

 

 

_Kleon_

 

I haven't seen her anywhere. Not in the ring. Not on the courses. Not with Raphael. Nor with the younglings. I’m constantly looking, searching for her everywhere I go but I always find vacant spaces. Under no circumstances shall I seek her out. It isn't my place yet I’m sat here wishing _wishing **wishing**_ it was.

 

Sleeping is becoming less and less each night I don't see her. I sit and stare at the tents entrance hoping _hoping **hoping**_ she will come to see me, talk to me, _~~lay with me~~_. I think I’m slowly going insane.

 

 

_Adrianna_

 

Today I will be productive. Today I will join Raph for breakfast. Today I shall paint.

 

 

_Kleon_

 

She looks like a ghost. Pale skin. Chapped lips. Shivering.

 

I watched as she finally came out from her tent and squinted as the sun beamed on her deadly paled skin and as she met with Raphael exchanging small preserved smiles. I watched as they linked arms, as she used Raphael as a solid wall to keep her standing. I don’t think I've ever seen a more dead looking person than I have when my eyes landed on her. However this is a small step for her which makes me immensely happy for her. She was able to get up and out of her tent this morning which I didn't think would happen in quite some time. Adrianna has once again proven to me she is a fighter, she has breathed to see another day, she has not let them win.

 

 

_Adrianna_

 

I could feel his glare on me as soon I stepped out of my tent yet I didn’t meet it. This was already too much. My stomach was already twisting in anticipation of something _~~someone~~_ yet to see, I could barely walk but I wouldn’t let anyone see me falter, ever. So I walked taking each step at a time to my destination, Raph. As I came to his side I leant onto him for dear life not trusting my legs to carry me any further on my own. Raph didn’t speak a word as he helped me walk to our normal eating spot and I silently thanked him for that. In fact, Raph didn’t say a word until we were half way through eating our stale bread, “Me and Kali have been worried Anna. What's going on?”

 

I raised my head to see his worried face looking straight back at me.

 

The words clung to my tongue, slowly filling my throat, pilling on to one another suffocating me. How funny. My own words will end up choking me to death. At least I’ll die without everyone knowing I’m actually a weak little half breed who's been most of Jude’s gang bitc-

 

“ADRIANNA! LOOK AT ME! ADRIANNA!”

 

Raph. Shouting. No. Actually a better way to describe his voice would be that of a wailing banshee.

 

Everything slowly comes into focus,

 

Raph stood in front of me

 

Shaking me

 

Kleon

 

Stood behind Raph

 

I cannot fathom the expression present on his face

 

Jude

 

Thanos

 

**Smirking.**

 

I’m running _running **running**_ before my brain can catch up with my legs. I have a sense of where my legs are leading me to.

 

The stream.

 

Now I’m bent over spewing my soul ~~_what remains of it_~~ onto the grass. My throat feels a though it has been set alight, burning from the inside out. I can barley catch my breath.

 

When there is nothing left in me I straighten myself, wiping my damp mouth on my sleeve then slowly I turn around to make my way to the stream to drink some water. However my body has other plans as I start to fall when I go to pivot on my heels. _~~Un~~_ fortunately, Raph is there to catch me. Always the saviour in my story.

 

He wraps one of my arms around his shoulder and practically drags me to the flowing stream. Kneeling us down he helps me cup some water into my hands and lifts it to my dry mouth. I gulp and gulp and gulp the freezing water until my hands are empty. I don’t waste a second as I thrust my hands back into the water to get more but I quickly think of a more efficient way to drink the water.

 

The water is chilling on my face as I stick my head into the stream drinking it as if it is air. I consciously hear Raph laughing at the side of me. It’s not long until he's yanking my head from the stream.

 

“Alright, I think you've drank the equivalent of a youngling.” Raph says with a smile.

 

The water is dripping down my face. He notices and gently wipes it off my chin. I can’t help but lean into his touch. Safe. Only in his arms.

 

I collapse onto his chest and loose the battle of keeping the tears in. I can no longer keep them in.

 

So here I sit. Sobbing into Raph's neck as his arms snake around me and envelope me into a warm embrace.

 

Here and only here am I safe.

 

 

_ Kleon _

 

One minute there is tranquility. The next, screaming. I don’t even have to look up to know who's screaming but I will. I’m actually already up and practically running to Raphael and Adrianna.

 

When I reach them I’m struck to my spot by the look on Adrianna’s face. Her eyes are glazed over yet wide. I can see her jaw clenching. She looks as though her mind, her soul, is no longer here. Just an empty shell of a body.

 

But then she blinks and she’s back, trying to figure out what’s happening. Thankfully Raphael has stopped shouting now. Her eyes skim him then she looks over his shoulder and her eyes land on me. I can’t control the shiver that takes over my whole body.

 

Now Adrianna is looking around at people that must be behind me which doesn't take long as she seems to spot someone. Before I am able to turn around she's up on her feet and running faster than I have ever seen any fae run in my entire life. She's running so fast that she's practically a moving blur. Not for behind her is Raph yet he's walking. Probably knowing where she's going. Knowing she’ll need a minute to calm before he's in her face again.

 

Anger sparks through me as if I've just become a live wire. Of course he’ll be able to calm her anyway. Piece her back together. Piece back together my mate!

 

_Breathe._

 

_This isn't your place._

 

_She doesn’t **need** or **want** you._

 

_Control yourself._

 

I feel Al’s presence beside me before I see him.

 

“We need to get to the bottom of this. She looks the walking dead.” He says patting my shoulder.

 

“I know Al. I know.”

 

I will find each and every single on of the scum bastards that have laid a single finger on her. But I will not be the one who tears them apart limb to limb. Oh no, that I will leave for Adrianna if she so wishes.

 

 

_Adrianna_

 

“Anna, come on. What’s happening. Talk to me.” Raph pleads whilst stroking my hair.

 

I whimper as he tries to get me to look at him but I won’t. So I sit up and stare at my hands. His hand lifts up to my face as he tucks a strand of my hair behind my ear so delicately. Instead of taking his arm away his palm opens up as it skims to cup my neck and he runs his thumb soothingly across the plane of my cheek.

 

“Talk to me. Why’ve you hidden yourself again? Have they done anything? I swear to god Anna if they've laid a sin-”

 

“Raph.” I interrupt him and lift my chin so I’m looking into his eyes. “Nothing like that Raph. Well only in my dreams.” I say quietly.

 

“Oh, Anna. Why didn’t you just tell me?” He asks.

 

“He was in it.”

 

“Who?”

 

“Kleon.” I spit his name as if it was venom and decide to look at the trees beyond Raph.

 

“What do you mean? How? Was was he doing?” Raph questions.

 

“He saw it. Then he knelt in front of me and that was it. End of dream.” I shiver. “I came out here to try and clear my head but then he showed up saying he had a bad dream which I was in.” Now I look back to Raph as I say, “we had the exact same dream. It was almost as if it was real. Like if I reached out I would be able to feel him actually there.”

 

I watch as Raph eyebrows bunch in confusion then slowly go back to normal.

 

“Has this ever happened before?” He asks.

 

“Not that I know of. Why?”

 

“Nothing, just asking.” Then silence.

 

Raph takes my hands into his gently. “We don't know how much he knows. And if he does, he will either know very little or maybe not take anything away from that dream considering it was just a dream Anna and that’s what you have to remember. It was just a dream. I will not let anyone hurt you ever again.” He says sincerely.

 

“I know Raph.”

 

Yet it felt like so much more. Like the beginning of something.

 

 

_Kleon_

 

They've been gone for well over two hours and I really am trying to keep my wits about me. Trying and failing. Soon after they left me and Al went to the ring and haven’t stopped throwing punches since. Neither of us are tiring so we just continue. Jab here. Kick there. Duck left. Swing right. After so long fighting has become a second nature, almost like a choreographed dance which my body knows how to change to each opponent I face.

 

We are both now shirtless and in just shorts as we forgo our shirts some time back now. I have Al pinned to the floor when I see her walk past with Raphael. That moment of vulnerability costs me everything as Al pushes his legs from underneath me and manages to throw me off him. Now I’m the one pinned to the floor

 

“Always pay attention brother. Bringing weaknesses like that into the ring will be the death of you.” He says with a shit-eating grin from above me , yet I know he’s being serious.

 

She is my only weakness.

 

 

_Adrianna_

 

I'd be lying if I said I didn’t look because I did. I know men should gross me out and don’t get me wrong they do. But something about Kleon being in nothing but shorts, glistening with sweat and his hair askew sat on top of Alexius had me turning my head. His sculpted body, bulging muscle and broad shoulders will now be engraved into my head forever, ~~_which has more pros than cons_~~.

 

Raph and I are on our way to see Kali, who should be free as the younglings will be at the beginner courses, so this would be the perfect time for me to paint. When we get there we find Kali sat at her desk nursing a mug of boiling water, no doubt mixed with some sort of plant sees found. Kali has an interest in finding new flavours she can add to water, she keeps all the plants and herbs in a box in her tent and is very stingy with who is allowed to have them. Obviously me and Raph are the only ones she lets use her collection, not that I really would anyway. The only things I ever ask to take on the odd occasion is either mint leaves or jasmine for when my cycle comes. Mint leaves to suck on and jasmine always seems to sooth me in general but especially when I have bad cramps from my cycle.

 

“Hello you two. Where have you been my dear?” Kali asks me.

 

“Had another episode.” I reply.

 

She nods in understanding.

 

I guess we have come to the term ‘episode’ for when I end up being so overwhelmed from something that I stay in bed for days on end not bothering to come. If I don’t come out my tent for two days Raph knows I’m having an episode, so he brings me food and fresh water which he leaves outside my tent. He's always the one to check on me and ask what’s happening, whereas Kali acknowledges it and doesn't ask too many questions as she trusts Raph to be there for me helping me back up. Which he always does no matter how long an ‘episode’ lasts, he's always there waiting for me.

 

“Is it okay if I paint today?” I ask Kali as I run my hands over the paints on the shelves.

 

“Of course my dear. The younglings won't be back until after nightfall, so you can spend as much time as you want.” Kali replies as sweet as ever.

 

I’m distracted by picking up the various colours I want to use that I don’t realise Raph and Kali talking. Picking colours, putting blobs of them on my own hand crafted wooden pallet, which I made with Kali’s help, filling up a pot of water and spreading out my favourite paint brushes is the best part about creating a panting. Getting everything organised for the art you’re about to create. I love it. Paintbrushes always feel at home in my hand and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

 

Before I know it I’m painting the blur of a town again. It seems to be a painting I create regularly. Always the same town but it differs between night and day. Yet I seem to paint the version of the town at night the most. Its like my hand itself knows all the details and just paints itself without me needing to tell it which colour to dip into next or where to smear it now. I love getting carried away painting, hours could go by and it would feel like mere minutes to me because I’m so caught up in the art.

 

 

_Kleon_

 

I’m sat in my tent when an image suddenly flashes into my head.

 

At first it’s just blurred colours on a canvas.

 

Then it slowly takes form.

 

_Velaris_

 

I’m looking at a painting of Velaris in my head.

 

Then the image shifts and I see a hand painting.

 

Adrianna.

 

_Adrianna is painting my home._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I shouldn't be but I'm a whore for Adrianna and Raph........
> 
> leave kudos and comments  
> {sorry this is a shorter chapter}


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